It’s September 11th again – the day we’re supposed to set aside to remember the tragedy of 2001. As if any of us who were alive on that day five short years ago will ever forget the shock, horror and fear that permeated the world. And yet the politicians will get their photo ops, and the survivors who refuse to move on with their lives will get their interviews, and the media will replay endless footage from news clips and home video of that awful day to made-for-TV movies and docudramas, where facts are an afterthought.

Some political and media segments still try to link the 9/11 attacks with the war in Iraq, specious as that link may be. So look at these facts:

• About 4 times as many Afghans and 85 times as many Iraqis have been killed in these wars and occupations than the 2,973 people who were killed in the ghastly attacks of September 11, 2001. More than six times as many people have been killed in these wars and occupations than the 43,122 people killed in all terrorist attacks worldwide since 1968. ~ http://www.unknownnews.net/casualties.html
• On 31 August 2006 it (Iraq Body Count website) put the total number of civilian dead at 39,171 to 43,846 and the number of police dead at 2,409. ~ http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/4525412.stm
• The announcement Sunday of four more U.S. military deaths in Iraq raises the death toll to 2,974 for U.S. military service members in Iraq and in what the Bush administration calls the war on terror. The 9/11 attack killed 2,973 people, including Americans and foreign nationals but excluding the terrorists. The 9/11 death toll was calculated by CNN. ~ http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/meast/09/03/death.toll/

When will the killing stop? Violence does not result in peace, only in more violence. A crushed, defeated, humiliated enemy will only simmer underground until a charismatic leader pushes the right buttons and the next opportunity to strike back arises (remember Germany after World War I).

Until the United States stops trying to impose a western brand of democracy on an eastern nation whose culture cannot yet begin to understand such concepts, the Iraqi insurgency will have a cause around which to rally the militants, the terrorists, the blindly misguided few who will die gladly. And more will die – Iraqi and American (and other coalition nations), civilians and soldiers.

And until all those deaths are mourned equally, and the leaders of the world come together to stop the cycle of violence with diplomacy, respect, and compassion, I will shun the public displays of mass grief and mourn silently, every day, the senseless loss of each life.

My grandmother died this morning – the last of the generation. Her body was kept alive by the ‘miracle’ of modern medicine far too long after her spirit had left her. She was worn-out and miserable; I am so very glad she now has peace.

My husband and I have shared the life and death of six of our respective grandparents now; it’s hard to believe Nana was the last. As the oldest child of young parents, we are fortunate to still have our parents with us, but as they approach 70, we find ourselves squarely in that dreaded ‘sandwich’ generation. The ‘rents are all in relatively good health, but the oft-touted ’70 is the new 50’ is really not accurate, any more than our own fast-approaching 50 is the new 30. Those are mind games people play to avoid their own mortality.
Will we live longer than our ancestors? Probably, although with 80+ being the norm for our grandparents, genetics are already on our side. And at whatever age ‘old’ now is, we still will face health issues and physical restrictions that hamper our efforts to be forever young. The number of years is not the issue; the quality of those years is, so we struggle to maintain our health and fitness, living in the moment.

Both of my grandmothers spent the last eight years of their lives widowed, ill, lonely and miserable. Anna had the added burden of Alzheimer’s, so I can only hope the mental anguish was dimmed as her mind slipped away. But our caring visits were never enough for either of them. The pain and frustration that caused our families are immeasurable, and I dread facing that again with our parents. And we have resolved never to put our children in that position.

Death is a part of life; none of us will escape it. Religious platitudes may help some people cope, but we have grown beyond such delusions. Loss of a loved one is never easy. It leaves a hole in the heart that never quite heals. But dear ones live on in our memories, and that is immortality enough for anyone.

I do not fear death. Rather, there are days I would welcome the release from the unending struggles of life. I know society frowns on such thoughts, labels them ‘mental illness,’ so I generally keep that to myself. Death is simply the next stage of the period we call life – not an end, but a new beginning, in whatever form that may be.

Nana spent the last years of her life mourning her husband, refusing to honor his life by continuing hers. That seems to be an accepted, almost revered, response to death. Far too many people are defined by their loss rather than by their existence, their aliveness. As much as I miss my grandparents and other dear ones whose bodies have died, I will not tarnish their memories by wallowing in my sorrow. I will honor them by continuing the struggle of life – even when the days are almost too much to bear – and by remembering their impact on those of us who remain.

I'm heartily sick and tired of the country being co-opted by far, far right (or far, far left) ideals and marginalizing anyone who doesn't agree with the party line. I am offended at being labeled 'unpatriotic' for not supporting a misguided administration and their terrible war. Democracy entitles every citizen a voice, and mine is constantly stifled by extremists on both ends.

Reasoned, logical debate was once a virtue to be upheld at all costs. Now any dissent, however reasoned, is stamped down by those who know their true motives cannot stand up to the light of day. America has forfeited any moral superiority it once could claim by starting an unjust war, torturing prisoners, locking up people - yes, people, no matter their politics! - for years on end with no recourse, and trampling on the Constitution and Bill of Rights by spying on its own citizens and upholding a laughably mis-named Patriot Act.

Democracy is not an ideal that can be imposed on others, no matter how well-meaning the stated intentions, and even less so when it is ignored at home. Fear and paranoia have become the new American ideals, and Washington - both parties! - does a masterful job of keeping its citizens afraid of everything.